Family Man in the Federal Prison Camp
Nov 8th, 2008 by Rickey
There is one inmate that stands out the most in the prison camp and that’s the family man. So what makes him stand out among the other inmates? To simply put it in one word, it’s his wisdom.
His wisdom shows by the calmness in the way he conducts himself. He accepts the responsibility of his actions and calmly moves on because he knows the consequences are temporary and brighter days are ahead. He humbles himself and shows great patients before others without complaining. If he chooses to complain it’s done in the proper order of BOP paperwork and diplomatic talks with the administration.
He follows the rules set before him and understands the value of them because he expects the same from his wife and children, therefore setting a good example when family visits him. He also recognizes the need for order and timely schedules to run an efficient household so he adapts quickly to the plan already set in motion.
The family man is also husbands who write plenty of letters to his wife and keeps a dialog current so as to stay intimate with her. As a father, he takes time to draw pictures and even decorates the mailing envelope with cartoon characters to show his love and that he is thinking about his child. He also makes a point of calling his wife and children every night to keep the flame of hope alive as he tells them good night and I love you.
When it comes down to trusting an inmate the one most honored and respected by all the inmates will be the family man. He is the one who keeps quiet, true to his word and willing to help a stranger in need, he is the Good Samaritan of the prison camp.
Rickey,
You said in one of your posts that you have a daughter. How old was she and how did it affect her? My husband and I have a 2 month old (he left 2 weeks after she was born), he fears not being able to bond with her and that he is going to miss everything (first steps, first words, first tooth, etc). I keep telling him we will visit every weekend and that he will see it all it just won’t necessarily be the first time she does something. How can I help and keep them bonded? I show her his picture and tell her he loves her and I give her kisses from him. We also make it a point that I put the phone on speaker so he can talk to her so she knows his voice. Any other suggestions? He also has 2 other children from a previous marriage (13 & 17) that live with their mother, what can I do to keep them connected? To be honest they don’t seem to care, they have complained about the day long visits with nothing for them to do. They even had the audacity to ask me if they would still get Christmas presents since he was gone. Can I help make their relationship stronger?
J
Joselynne,
Yes, my daugther was 15 when I self-surrendered and I missed her 16th and 17th birthday. The most beautiful thing about my wife and daughter is that they became best friend and that was the best joy I recieved and they are still best friends today and actually work together in our home business.
You are doing the right thing, most important is that your child does have a father and knows that she is loved by her parents. She will remember the love not the circumstances. Yes, your husband will miss some key points in her life but the joyful reunion will be worth it because of how much you both mean to him.
As for the other two children, well sounds like they want things instead of daddy’s love but in all seriousness just let them know that you are going for a visit and if they want to go bring them if not let them stay home. Remember, they are teenagers finding their own way. The relationship to your husband is the light they need to see because that is how they will process things, in other words be an example of what a married relationship is all about, commitment.
Relationships become stronger when people communicate so encourage them to write, both your husband and the teenagers.
Rickey,
I am sorry to keep asking questions. This is off topic also. You have a home business, so do we. When he gets to a halfway house will they let him work here or will he have to find another job? If you did work for your own business how did you show proof of income? I can write him a business check but there wont be a pay stub. Will he need his own account to deposit it into or can he just use ours? Is seems silly to write him a check for him to sign to deposit, but if thats how it has to be than so be it.
Thanks again
J
Joselynne,
You ask a lot of good question and each one will also help others, so please ask as many question as you would like, I am here to help and that is what this site is all about. Now to your question.
This is very similar to my experience so I will answer it based On what I did.
Yes, I was able to go home and work but a person associated with the halfway house came to see the home I was working from. Basically they just wanted to make sure it was a legal address on the paperwork I filled out.
A company check was my proof of income (without a stub), I just made copies of the check for record keeping. However the check was not really needed because of the contract agreement of my salary thatwas required.
Yes, I had to open up a savings account to deposit some funds in the account, it was part of the halfway house policy. The halfway house also required 25% of my earning while I stayed there.