Relationships in a Federal Prison Camp
Feb 20th, 2009 by Rickey
Serving time in a federal prison camp will become a test for any lasting relationship, it will either bring break-ups and divorce or it will build a stronger marriage and lasting friendships. It all comes down to one thing that makes the difference, a foundation of love before going in.
I have personally witness inmates in depression and fits of anger over the news of pending divorce, believe me it’s not a pretty site. On the other hand, I have also seen the love that bonded families closer with a new appreciation for what is truly important in their life.
Holding on to a lasting relationship while in prison requires a lot of work and effort. It’s about maintaining a line of communication through writing letters, making phone calls and visitation. Without these simple activities most relationships will not last.
Relationships are extremely important to every inmate. An inmate may not show his need for someone to love and care about them because of his pride but I have heard a majority of inmates always talking about their wife, girlfriend, parent, child and other family members, believe me they want a relationship and needs it.
Relationships is what gives an inmate hope, the strength to move forward and endure the next day till finally he goes home to the reality of what he dreamed of. It’s that important!
Yes, there is a sad side. There is a minority of inmates who do not receive any correspondence from loved ones, the prison camp becomes there new home and they fear going home when the date arrives for them to leave.
The great news is that any relationship that survives the prison system will be better with a deeper appreciation of what commitment really means. My wife and I are living testimonies of how great and powerful God’s love truly is when love is the cornerstone of the relationship. Love endures!
My name is James Harrison and I am happily married with two children. Recently I spent 20 months in federal prison camps and even experienced being transferred through Oklahoma City and Atlanta to arrive in Edgefield, South Carolina.
There are no words for what I went through but I will say that many prayers were answered during this time period and my family is stronger now than ever before. For this I praise God because He allowed me to take something bad and turn it into somesthing good.
During my stay in Edgefield I wrote a book titled Special Delivery which is now available online at Amazon & Books A Million. This book is a manual to survive difficult times and will uplift every reader. You can visit the website at http://www.specialdeliverybook.com. The book is available by eBook on this site also for free because the way I see it the best gifts in life are those that come from the heart and are free in wanting nothing in return.
If you know of someone in prison or families going through difficult times pass this book to them to receive hope in their trials in life. This is not about me but about helping someone else.
James Harrison
http://www.specialdeliverybook.com
James, you are right, it’s not about us but about God and serving Him by helping others. Praise God and thank you Lord for watching over me and James and now guiding us to support others, in Jesus name, amen.
Rickey;
I enjoyed your stories about the different aspects of the FPC`S.I was in a Low FCI in Central Fla[Colman} for 12 months,& everything you`ve written is true.I do want to comment on maintaining your marriage,at all costs,I truly believe that this is the biggest cause of Recidism of the Federal Inmates. I was blessed to have married a woman that believes in me,& who was willing to stay with me,thru the good times,& the bad.It makes all the difference in the world,to have a wife & home to come back to. I`m glad you`re making it,,,,,
Tombstone,
Thank you, I am encouraged to here that you also have a wonderful wife and endured the test of commitment. I pray the Lord will continue to bless us both, His favor is truely upon us.
Ricky,
I have looked around the internet to see if there was something close to my problem, but I keep coming back to you…I am married to a wonderful man that just made bad choices. He is now in Federal “camp”. We were married in May 2005 and he went in on May 1, 2007. As any newly married blended family we were still working out the kinks when he went away. About 2 years ago his mother and I had a big disagreement which came between my husband and I. I stopped going to visit as much because we would just disagree and I didn’t want to spend the day fighting. About 2 months ago he told me he doesn’t love me anymore. I asked if he wants a divorce and he said that prison is not the place for a divorce. But if I was ready to move on he would see that it was done. I explained (begged) that this is not what I want. I want us to communicate. Since that time he still talks to me but not as much. I went to see him the first weekend after that and it was okay. The next weekend he couldn’t see me. This past weekend we had a nice visit, but he still isn’t saying he wants to work things out. I have offered marriage counsling but he said he doesn’t want to dig up old proplems. I don’t know what to do or how to go about fixing things. He made a point to tell me I wasn’t coming to visit so I have been every weekend since this but he says that is a slap in the face. He still calls, and we talk, but not about our marriage. Please let me know if you have any suggestions. I do not want to lose him. I have always loved him, I just want him to discuss family matters with me instead of his mother.
Ann,
God bless you, you have been faithful, understanding and loving to your husband, a credit to your vows and devotion as a wife. Your loving nature and efforts to work things out is a very beautiful thing which I greatly admire.
You are right, communication is very important and a crucial element in repairing your relationship with your husband.
Your husband is probably getting some bad advice from other inmates, trust me, I have seen and heard a lot of negative comments that are just prideful with no regards to intimacy.
My only suggestion at this time is that you continue being the good wife you are and wait for him to come around. I believe your husband just needs time to really understand what is going on and what is important in his life.
My prayers are with you Ann because I know that it’s harder on the you and the family than it actually is for your husband who is in prison.
Again, you sound like a wonderful wife who just loves her husband and wants the best for her family.
Why havn’t you mentioned sex in prison? C.O.’s and all that…If I missed it I look forward to what you have to say.
B.hive,
Good question, there is no sex allowed in a federal prison camp, however in some prison camps inmates do get to apply for a furlough after a year or so and whatever they do in that time is entirely up to them.
Now I will say this, there are a lot of rumors and gossip of sexual acts but those are left alone and those caught in explicit sexual acts usually have to face the consequences are public embarrassmentswithin the camp.
Regarding the CO’s there are 4 related post, look at the side category menu for correctional officer.
Rickey,
I agree completely regarding communication. I would always tell my husband (before he left) that it bothered me that he never asked me how my day was when I always asked about his, that has changed since he has been gone. Since he has been gone he has realized what was important to him. He use to be very materialistic and now, being stripped of everything, he has finally realized what really matters. I guess I can say that this part of his imprisonment is a blessing in disguise. I write him almost everyday, and when he gets my letters it lifts his spirits. There are people who say nasty things about me and what I am doing and he keeps telling them that they don’t know me or us. It hurts to hear what people are telling him but I am thankful that he is defending me and our relationship. I know that everyone in the prison system has a voice in the back of their head saying “what it…”. One those days he tells me his fears. The only thing I can do is reassure him that I am here. He has told me that I don’t deserve this and that I should move on, but I let it go in one ear and out the other because I know that the next call he will tell me he doesn’t want that. It is a roller coaster of emotions I am sure. I am sure in 5 years we will be even stronger than we are now because we appreciate each other more. Did your emotions go crazy regarding your marriage?
J
Joselynne,
Yes, I was in the same boat, I was not paying attention to all my wife’s needs. Trust me he will be a different person because like you said he now sees what’s important in his life. Prison is what you make of it and this will challenge him to make new choices.
Continue to write to him because mail call is the highlight of every inmates day. Send pictures, spray some of your favorite cologne that he likes and tell him about you day even if he asks or not. trust me he does care.
Based on your comment it sounds like you both love and care for each other and that is your strength. Who cares what other people think, this is your life and the way your husband is protecting you is a sure sign of that love.
Yes, he will here all kinds of ridiculous nonsense from other inmates but they are the ones who are already divorced or have bad marriages. There are also a lot of inmates who love their wives and those are the one your husband needs to hang around with. Marriage does take work but it is one of the greatest blessing which God truely blesses.
Of course, emotions do run a little wild and crazy at times but that is when I pull out the pen and paper and write my feelings and share what I am experiencing with with my wife. Always remind him of your love for him, hope is kept alive when you continue to share feelings.
One more thing, this is a beginning not a set back. It’s the beginning of a long courtship and exploring new ways of loving each other. God bless you and your family.